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The Circus Dog That Is the Ring Master of the Galaxies

Dogs of the Galaxies card game

You would expect that Circus Dog is an acrobat, or maybe a clown, or a tightrope walker. Nothing could be further from the truth. Circus Dog is quite the show master; that has to be said. He knows how to please a crowd and entertain them all night long. And depending on Saturn, those nights can be really long.

Circus Dog was born in a family of entertainers. His dad specialized in moon bouncing, while mom would swing trapeziums between planets. Circus Dog has a sister who bikes the Milky Way on a unicycle and two asteroid-juggling brothers. Circus Dog is the baby of the family. For him there was only one path in life: he had to join the circus just like the rest of his family. Circus Dog is not a fan of anything that requires him to be limber, silly or super strong. If it was up to him, he would not be anywhere close to the ring.

Somehow he had to find his way. If he was destined to be a performer, he had to figure out what he liked and where his talent was. After all, there was no way to escape the family trade. So Circus Dog decided to go along.

He practiced with the acro dogs and almost missed the next planet. He bounced moons until he fell on his nose for the dozenth time and since this was all very funny, he tried it again in a clown’s suit.

But Circus Dog was miserable. He announced to his family that he wasn’t in a thousand years stepping foot in a circus again, “Because, ladies and gentlemen, life is too short to waste it.” Circus dog made his announcement with so much panache, finishing off with a flamboyant bow, that his whole family fell silent. He could tell that their silence meant sadness – sadness that he was exiting the ring. That could only mean one thing: they loved his performance. They were sad to see him go. Suddenly, Circus Dog realized what it was that he was meant to do. He could still be part of the Circus, without really playing a part.

Since that memorable day, Circus Dog has been Circus Master. The crowds love him. He feels at home with the circus performers but is happy not to be one of them. While the others practice and fine-tune their acts, Circus Dog gets to sit around and do absolutely nothing. His job as a circus master comes so naturally to him that he can lean back and relax all day long. All he really needs to do is keep his vocal cords in shape. Cocktail anyone?

Is Circus Dog going to jump though a ring on fire or balance a tightrope any time soon? Not a chance.

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The Unpleasant Orc Dog That Is Mean to the Nth Degree

Dogs of the Galaxies card game

Nobody wants to be friends with Orc Dog. This dog is vicious and mean to every creature in the galaxies. Living life with absolutely no friends does not seem to bother him one bit. Orc Dog is grumpy, unpleasant and he emits the nastiest of odors. When other space animals see him coming around a corner, they run off to avoid his nasty personality and the horrific smell of rotting teeth.

Time and again, a young dog, not yet impressed by Orc Dog’s infamous behavior, has reached out to make acquaintance with the cruel spirited dog. One would expect that Orc Dog would graciously accept the hand shake and go about his way. This is not the case with him. He simply shows his teeth and growls. Who does the young dog think he is? What nerve to breath the same air as he, the fearsome Orc Dog? The young dogs typically learn their lesson and get out of Orc Dog’s way.

But then there is this little chihuapwap. This tiny, guinea pig-like space dog, has decided that he is destined to be Orc Dog’s companion. Nobody knows why he is so set on it, and no one gets what makes this chihuapwap so incredibly brave. After all, more than once has Orc Dog snapped at him, in a fruitless attempt to change the chihuapwap’s mind and chase him away once and for all.

It was only last week that another one of those episodes took place on an out of orbit star. Orc Dog got so pissed off, that he grabbed the chihuapwap by the tail and flung it into space. He did not realize, though, that the tiny dog launched into orbit around a nearby moon, and landed right back on Orc Dog’s back. The dogs around him stared in disbelief. What was the chihuapwap doing there? Did Orc Dog finally make a friend? Was the chihuapwap just as mean as Orc Dog? What was going on?

The chihuapwap was not mean at all, but he certainly could use some help. Help from a strong and maybe even vicious partner. In order not to get run over by other Galaxy Dogs, the chihuapwap figured out that he could hang out with the monster of the Galaxies, Orc Dog, and in return help Orc Dog clean his teeth. But the problem was that Orc Dog didn’t feel that he needed anyone – no friends or buddies.

But Orc Dog didn’t mind clean teeth. The only downside to having one was this: he worried that others may become less afraid of him if he showed sharp teeth that was clean. That would mean he had begun caring; he was getting softer.

Don’t get this wrong – Orc Dog is all but friendly with the creature riding on his back. In reality, he tolerates him for a reason. The little chihuapwap could come in handy if Orc Dog ever decides he wants clean teeth.

And the chihuapwap? He is finally able to finish a meal before it gets stolen from right under his nose; and these days, he can actually take a quiet, uninterrupted nap. As for Orc Dog’s teeth, all the chihuapwap needs to do is order some other dog in the milky way to brush and floss Orc Dog’s teeth. After all, who would dare to say no to the monster duo?

Chihuawap smiles quietly to himself at the idea of other dogs becoming even a little afraid of him solely on account of their seeing him ride on Orc Dog’s back. He likes the thought.

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The Chivalrous Armored Dog That Rescues Damsels in Distress

Dogs of the Galaxies card game - top card games

Armored Dog is our famous knight in shining armor, and he knows it. Prancing around the galaxies, all eyes are on him as he searches for any damsels in distress. Said lady dogs bat their eye lashes and when he glances in their direction, their soft cheeks turn red. Armored Dog is charming and a real gentleman. He cares about his grooming, looking smart and smooth as he does his rounds.

When he needs to come into action, he couldn’t care less about his looks or his status. When there is the need for him to show what he is worth, he sheds his bells and whistles, sharpens his nails and bares his teeth. Never has he lost a fight, nor will he ever let that happen in the future. Armored Dog takes his destiny extremely seriously and keeps the galaxies safe.

However, we are going to let you in on a little secret. The galaxies are actually already extremely safe. Many females are larger, stronger and more apt to defend themselves and their brood than most male space dogs. They know that when it comes to staying safe, they cannot lean on one Armored Dog to prevent harm and harassment. Female space dogs need to be able to fend for themselves.

They keep Armored Dog unaware of this though. They like him, adore his manners and would never hurt his feelings. So they play along when they feel it’s time to stroke his ego, and take turns in who needs to be rescued from a mean out-of-galaxy villain. Never would they have expected that one day the ladies would truly need Armored Dog’s help.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, when puppies were playing and nobody was particularly interested in the intergalactic cosmic ray streamlining project that had been dragging on for weeks. Some dogs were having ice cream, others were playing ball or taking a nap. No dog noticed the infiltration of a space shuttle with three astronauts from Earth, who had noticed the discrepancy in ray strength. When they got closer to check things out and got sight of the Dogs of the Galaxies, the astronauts thought it was a great idea to bring a space dog back to planet Earth. Little did they know about the population of space dogs and the consequences of kidnapping one. Everything was so peaceful, one dog would surely not be missed. They had obviously never met Armored Dog.

Armored Dog could sense right through the ice cream he was enjoying along with the other dogs that something was off. He dumped his treat and his ears pricked up. Before anyone else in the galaxy understood what was going on, Armored Dog was on the next microwave following the space ship. He saved the captured dog and got her back to their galaxy.

Without even being aware of it, he had proven that there is only one Armored Dog and that you would not want to be without him.