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The Unpleasant Orc Dog That Is Mean to the Nth Degree

Dogs of the Galaxies card game

Nobody wants to be friends with Orc Dog. This dog is vicious and mean to every creature in the galaxies. Living life with absolutely no friends does not seem to bother him one bit. Orc Dog is grumpy, unpleasant and he emits the nastiest of odors. When other space animals see him coming around a corner, they run off to avoid his nasty personality and the horrific smell of rotting teeth.

Time and again, a young dog, not yet impressed by Orc Dog’s infamous behavior, has reached out to make acquaintance with the cruel spirited dog. One would expect that Orc Dog would graciously accept the hand shake and go about his way. This is not the case with him. He simply shows his teeth and growls. Who does the young dog think he is? What nerve to breath the same air as he, the fearsome Orc Dog? The young dogs typically learn their lesson and get out of Orc Dog’s way.

But then there is this little chihuapwap. This tiny, guinea pig-like space dog, has decided that he is destined to be Orc Dog’s companion. Nobody knows why he is so set on it, and no one gets what makes this chihuapwap so incredibly brave. After all, more than once has Orc Dog snapped at him, in a fruitless attempt to change the chihuapwap’s mind and chase him away once and for all.

It was only last week that another one of those episodes took place on an out of orbit star. Orc Dog got so pissed off, that he grabbed the chihuapwap by the tail and flung it into space. He did not realize, though, that the tiny dog launched into orbit around a nearby moon, and landed right back on Orc Dog’s back. The dogs around him stared in disbelief. What was the chihuapwap doing there? Did Orc Dog finally make a friend? Was the chihuapwap just as mean as Orc Dog? What was going on?

The chihuapwap was not mean at all, but he certainly could use some help. Help from a strong and maybe even vicious partner. In order not to get run over by other Galaxy Dogs, the chihuapwap figured out that he could hang out with the monster of the Galaxies, Orc Dog, and in return help Orc Dog clean his teeth. But the problem was that Orc Dog didn’t feel that he needed anyone – no friends or buddies.

But Orc Dog didn’t mind clean teeth. The only downside to having one was this: he worried that others may become less afraid of him if he showed sharp teeth that was clean. That would mean he had begun caring; he was getting softer.

Don’t get this wrong – Orc Dog is all but friendly with the creature riding on his back. In reality, he tolerates him for a reason. The little chihuapwap could come in handy if Orc Dog ever decides he wants clean teeth.

And the chihuapwap? He is finally able to finish a meal before it gets stolen from right under his nose; and these days, he can actually take a quiet, uninterrupted nap. As for Orc Dog’s teeth, all the chihuapwap needs to do is order some other dog in the milky way to brush and floss Orc Dog’s teeth. After all, who would dare to say no to the monster duo?

Chihuawap smiles quietly to himself at the idea of other dogs becoming even a little afraid of him solely on account of their seeing him ride on Orc Dog’s back. He likes the thought.

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The Cyborg Dog Made of Mechanical Body Parts and Gizmo

Dogs of the Galaxies card game - cyborg dog

Cyborg Dog is nothing short of amazing. This techno dog has so much sophisticated machinery in and on his body that he often gets mistaken for a robot. But a robot he certainly is not. Usually it’s the little pups who exclaim out loud “Hey it’s a robot” when they see Cyborg Dog. Then he shrugs his bionic shoulders and smiles at the puppies. He is not that forgiving though when it comes to supposedly mature dogs pointing at him, calling him names. You would expect that by now everyone in the galaxies knows Cyborg Dog. Apparently though, he does not like drawing attention and is pretty quiet.

When last year another ignorant, very hairy hound yelled ROBOT so loudly that everyone could hear her, Cyborg Dog decided to stop this rude behavior once and for all. Cyborg Dog lengthened his legs, towering high above the onlookers. He turned up the volume of his speakers, and took a deep breath (this ordeal took some confidence, you know, and that doesn’t come naturally to this cyberpunk dog).

As soon as he said one word, the entire galaxy started vibrating. Everyone looked up and noticed Cyborg Dog, even from far away. With a steady voice, Cyborg Dog made it clear that he did not appreciate his robot nickname. He was not designed to digest intellectual input from another creature. He was created to stretch the capacity of the dogs of the galaxies by using new technology and modern materials. But he himself is in charge of what he does and when he does it. Let that be clear. He continued announcing: “Those creatures who continue taunting me will sorely regret it. I am done. I will not tolerate being called names anymore.”

The message was clear and ever since that important announcement, the other dogs treat Cyborg Dog with respect. They have even tried to get to know him more, to better understand what Cyborg Dog is and what he can do.

The space animals don’t get a lot of feedback from him though. Cyborg Dog is happy that things are finally peaceful and quiet around him. At this point he smiles when a new litter comes around and he hears mom explain what Cyborg Dog is. It looks like while name calling is no problem anymore, he should spend some time with his fellow dogs explaining what he is and can do. The weirdest, most extreme stories still go around about him – all positive of course, but definitely a little exaggerated.

Cyborg Dog can for example not suddenly grow wings and rescue someone from another planet. Neither can he make himself invisible. But he can run incredibly fast with his adjustable legs, which are made to withstand even the heat of burning flames. But you know how it goes. Even the dogs of the galaxies love to gossip, so who knows how long these spectacular stories will keep going around.

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Chicken Dog – the Dog With an Identity Crisis Who Had an Immersion Session

Dogs of the Galaxies game - Chicken Dog

Chicken Dog has been dealing with an identity crisis lately. Born in a litter of moon dogs, she has been surrounded by barking creatures her entire life. Playing and napping, some of the main ways pups get through the day, was easy for the dog and she had no problem getting along with her fellow pups. But one day, everything changed. The pups were barking away, waiting for breakfast. Suddenly, a loud clucking sounded out above the barking dogs. What was going on? Did a chicken escape from her coop?

The dogs looked around but they saw nothing unfamiliar. Until one of the pups opened her mouth and another loud clucking emanated through the universe. Everyone looked at the pup that made the sound, unsure how to interpret what they had just heard.

Suddenly, the group busted into laughter – some huge, belly shaking, bubbling giggles. Finger pointing and howling, the dogs could not stop laughing. They had spent their entire short life together and never noticed that one of them was a chicken. Her head looked just like theirs, but that was pretty much it. This is how Chicken Dog got her name.

Chicken Dog could not handle the snorting behind her back. The constant jokes about eggs were getting old. She decided that it was enough. Maybe she was a chicken indeed, so she headed to the chicken coop. Chicken Dog clucked her way in, and tried to balance on the roost. This was an odd feeling. From the corner of the coop, the other chickens peeked at the dog. What was this creature doing here? Yes, she sounded like them, she kind of looked like them but something was weird. Protectively they sat firmly on top of their chicks.

Before long, the chickens started engaging with Chicken Dog, who was precariously balancing on the roost. The chickens nicknamed her Acro Chick, because somehow she managed to do the most interesting flips and flops and still end up on top of the roost. Chicken Dog and the chickens got along fine and became friends. Chicken Dog finally felt appreciated for who she was.

But one problem was spoiling her happiness. This meat eating hen was used to eating moon stones and little space creatures. Now she was served a diet of grains and moon dust. This quickly became a problem, as she had never been a vegetarian, nor did Chicken Dog have teeth for eating grains. The chicken diet was not compatible with her dog teeth and digestive system. Chicken Dog tried adding enzymes collected from Saturn, and special bacteria from Mars but to no avail. She had to make the tough call to leave the coop and get back to dog life.

Now that she is back with the pups, she is feeling healthy again, gobbling her diet of meat and moon stones. But her friends are in the coop, and this is where she truly belongs.

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Humanoid Dog – the Self-Appointed Keeper of the Peace in the Galaxies

Dogs of the Galaxies card game - Humanoid Dog

Our Humanoid Dog makes sure to keep order in the chaos of the Galaxies. He is the boss, and will make sure that’s loud and clear. No misunderstanding when it comes to who is in charge in, and beyond, the Milky Way. This muscular pumped up giant has everything when it comes to preponderance and authority. He’s got the voice, he’s got the muscles, but he is especially good at mediation and negotiation.

Humanoid Dog spent some time on different planets. Disguised as just another dog, he learned the trade of interplanetary organization. He specialized in dog management, which turns out to be critical in keeping the planets from heading down black holes. Keep the population in check and there’s a bright future on the horizon.

It wasn’t always crystal clear who was in charge in the Galaxies. For many years, dogs did whatever they wanted to do and whenever they felt like it. They were only interested in themselves, often with disastrous consequences for the environment. Packs of dogs of the galaxies clearly needed a leader. When it became clear that the most densely inhabited planet in the solar system was going to be destroyed, Humanoid Dog stepped up and announced that he could not let irresponsible packs of dogs damage space to a point of no return. The story goes that he often chased packs of marauding dogs into an asteroid belt. Only when they agreed to his superiority did Humanoid Dog let them out.

At first he was not appreciated for taking on this role as a leader. Many space dogs were offended, even though they clearly needed help. Humanoid Dog set boundaries, stepped in when there were conflicts and prioritized the health of the universe. Soon, semblance of discipline returned as dogs began to see the sense in his volunteer work.

This is how it has been for as long as everyone can remember. He won’t take no for an answer. He does not have to repeat himself when he asks with a stern voice “who is the boss?” Society goes right back to the peaceful solar system he wants it to be.

If you need Humanoid Dog, you can find him in the gym. Sporting his fancy Speedo, he makes sure to always be in tip top shape. Healthy body, mind and planets are his main philosophy. If you need him to keep order, even when he’s busy lifting weights, just shout and he will be right there, asking any brouhaha originators to “keep it down please”. But when he’s lifting weights, you’d better have a good reason to require his attention, as he takes his physical conditioning seriously.

Apart from chaos generated by Galaxy dogs, Humanoid Dog also gladly interferes when a bunch of space squirrels are squabbling, or when space mice pilfer from puppies, but, luckily, such extra-canine interventions haven’t kept him from his larger mission, although it nearly came to that once.

Last year he almost missed a threatening space cadet invasion when two Gas Cloud birds were quarreling over a nest. Luckily he got on top of the danger just in time, but ever since that event, Humanoid Dog does not play around anymore. He requests respect and immediate response when he’s involved. The dog is well respected in his community, and so far he had been able to keep everything in space in good shape.