Author: Dogs of the Galaxies

Can you imagine what it would feel like to have your ears on fire? The Fire Dog has been on fire ever since he was a pup. No day goes by without the reminder of that awful day, when he was only a few weeks old. He cannot even remember what life was like before disaster struck.

The Fire Dog had just started eating puppy stones, after weaning off milk. But eager as he was to eat what was cooking on the fire, everything went terribly wrong. Probably his inexperience was to blame, or maybe his rumbling tummy caused him to not think clearly. He dipped his head into the pot, smelling the delicious aroma of stewing puppy stones. He took a bite, burned his tongue and suddenly his ears were on fire. He had not realized how his floppy ears had dipped into the flames before his mouth could even reach the food.

Fire Dog panicked and started running in circles, trying to put out the blaze with his tail. Funny enough the burning did not hurt him, but there seemed to be no way to put out the fire. At last he gave up. With flames shooting from his ears, he had to show up for dinner. Everyone thought that he looked quite funny, and giggles made their way through the cloud of smoke that surrounded him.

Ever since the unfortunate event, his flaming ears cause him trouble. He cannot take a bite of food without it tasting burned. Moonstones taste like they have spent the majority of the day in a smoker, and every bite is crisp before it reaches his mouth.

And imagine racing through the galaxy to catch space chipmunks. They make the best playmates for this long-eared friend. The problem is that space chipmunks have the horrible habit of hiding in gas clouds. Kaboom!

To get his ears out of the way, and especially out of his food, Fire Dog has tried all kinds of strategies. Not only did he once tie his ears up on top of his head, at one point he rolled them up like fruit leather rolls. To no avail. To this day he has not been able to find a solution for his long, burning ears.

As you can imagine, Fire Dog is incredibly apprehensive of being around any type of fire ever again. He would rather munch on raw, tasteless moonstones, than take any chances with fire. What part of his body would turn into flames next time? His tail maybe? Or even his belly? Fire Dog is not taking any chances.

Crab Dog is scared of mice. Not just a little bit scared, he is terrified.

He would rather run through an exploding super nova star, than be anywhere in the vicinity of a tiny space rodent. Crab Dog is a giant compared to a mouse.

Why is he so afraid? Do cosmic mice give him the heebie jeebies because they are so unpredictable? Is he afraid that one will feast on his paws in the middle of the night?

No, this dog does not believe a mouse will eat him. Quite the opposite. He has a mouse trauma because of how a large, heavy dog with humongous paws and a tiny rodent just do not seem to match.
When Crab Dog had barely outgrown puppyhood, quite large in size yet still incredibly clumsy, he made friends with a little space mouse. The dog admired how this little cosmic animal could fly, and the mouse appreciated how Crab Dog could quickly gather loads of crumbs and seeds, which he then gave to his little friend. It saved the mouse a lot of time and effort, so the two had time to hang out and play together.

One morning disaster struck. The friends had played all night. In the morning when one of the area moons was rising, the giant dog looked around for his buddy in order to give him breakfast. Cosmic mouse was nowhere to be found. Eventually Crab Dog gave up and nestled back into his shell, hiding away from flying space dust. Then he felt a tiny lump under his left leg. He had almost trampled the little mouse with one of his large, strong paws. Mouse did survive this whole adventure, but Crab Dog was scarred for life. He had hurt his little friend. What a disaster it would have been if Mouse was mistakenly killed.

This large, gentle dog, with the tiniest of hearts shed many tears. So many tears that it caused rain storms in most of the solar systems in the region. He realized that he needed to make friends with his own kind, play with the big dogs whom he could not easily trample.

Now Crab Dog does everything he can to prevent mice from getting close to him. His bed may be comfy, also for cosmic mice, but now there is a tiny rodent-deterring fence around it, and several signs that indicate that it is not a mouse friendly place.

The friendly giant gets a little lonely and sad, but at least he cannot hurt his friends. He still uses his pinchers to pick up seeds and crumbs, but then he piles up the food and disappears. From a safe distance he watches as cosmic micro mice have a party and fill their bellies.

To be honest, it’s not that Crab Dog is all-peaceful every time. Sometimes he gets into a fight and uses his pincers to good effect. They are pretty strong and can cut through anything. You don’t want to have him pinch you. But the one thing you can say about him is that he fights troublemakers his own size. Sometimes he is even the troublemaker himself.

Owl Dog is on a first name basis with his family doctor. He needs help every day, ranging from a band aid to a splint and crutches. Owl Dog is a playful, and most often, prankish dog. Because his pranks are often so edgy and borderline dangerous, Owl Dog sometimes unintentionally hurts others, which makes many view him as a vicious dog.

Owl Dog needs roughhousing more than he needs food and shelter. It’s a good thing that his brother Whoooowlah is just the same, because other space dogs stay at a safe distance from both of them. Together the brothers turn and tumble through space, not only hurting themselves but damaging everything that’s in their way. They once ran into a planet, colliding with it head on. It’s safe to say that the inhabitants of that planet were not happy about that.

The same day they ran into a planet, it wasn’t long before they were at it again. But this time, a litter of space puppies got in their way.

The mom dog of those puppies knew all too well about Owl Dog and Whoooowla. In fact, she had sensed they were playing not too far from her little, cone-head-shaped puppies, so she decided to hang around to make sure none of that rough and tumble broke her babies’ bones.

She came out just in time to see the rambunctious brothers drift too dangerously close to her puppies who were practicing howling at the moon. Owl Dog and Whoooowla were only a fraction of a light-year blink away from colliding with the unsuspecting puppies.

In one fell swoop, mom dog got her brood out of the flying dogs’ way. Luckily, nobody got hurt, but mom dog was hopping mad and that in itself wasn’t a safe thing, as most space creatures hid when mom dog was angry. Mom dog’s anger was usually scarier than an erupting space volcano.

Mom dog bared her teeth, raised both eyebrows and leaped into the space void, grabbing Owl Dog by his massive ears, which made Owl Dog yelp in pain and come to an instant halt, losing sight of his Whoooowla. The ruckus caused by mom dog’s intervention could be heard three galaxies away.

With the large female dog standing over him, Owl Dog was suddenly not so tough and dangerous anymore. In fact, he looked a little humble now. Soon, his Whoooowla appeared by his side again and they both told mom dog they didn’t mean her puppies any harm. All they just wanted was to play.

Mom dog wasn’t having it. She wasn’t going to let them get away with it. She told them that the only way she’d let them off was if they did a good deed, like babysitting her pups for an entire day, making sure none of them got in trouble.

Sure! Exclaimed Owl Dog and Whoooowlah in unison. That seemed easy enough. They were already transmitting each other telepathic messages thinking how fun it would be playing with young puppies.

Owl Dog and Whoooowla tried to teach the puppies to fly, but their bodies were so out of proportion that flying just didn’t seem an option for the little ones. This was probably a good thing, otherwise there would for sure have been a trip to the emergency room.

Owl Dog used his acrobatic qualities to entertain the pups though, and they had a blast. Honestly, this show had half the galaxy watching and cringing. Luckily there was not too much damage. Sometimes when Owl Dog really got at it, entire solar systems could be knocked off course. And although the puppies were quite large, definitely bigger than Owl Dog and Whoooowla, the brothers managed to keep the pups in line the whole day. Soon it was end of the measured time and mom dog let them go, but only after extracting promises from them that they’d be of good behavior going forward.

However, Owl Dog and his Whoooowla didn’t stay on their best behavior for long. After all, there was fun to be had and fights to be fought. It won’t be long before they show up somewhere with a sprained wing or a bloody nose.

It helps to be on first name basis with the family doctor.

The Triangular Dog is quite a character. He likes playing games, and has a knack for hide-and-seek. Not that he is very good at finding his friends; he is mostly great at hiding. When he tries hard enough, he falls apart and disappears. Only to reappear suddenly somewhere else and scare the living daylights out of everyone.

Disappearing is easiest on a full stomach, but this dog is never satisfied. He eats everybody else’s food whenever he can. The other day he even took a bite out of a NASA space shuttle. To NASA this accident is still a mystery, especially since The Triangular Dog was invisible at the time. Space shuttles aren’t exactly easy to digest, so he will not try that again, no matter how hungry he is. Better stick to the usual diet of moonstones.

The Triangular Dog has over 200 brothers and sisters. He doesn’t even know each one by name. His older siblings make it a sport to eat his food, so it is not surprising that The Triangular Dog does exactly the same to his friends and younger siblings.

One of his buddies really doesn’t get it though. The other day he wondered if The Triangular Dog had eaten a tapeworm. After all, he never seems to get enough food. The Triangular Dog could actually appreciate the idea of a little friend in his stomach, but that’s impossible. Where would this worm be during an invisible episode? Would it just be hanging out in space?

Running is a second favorite way to spend the day. Challenge The Triangular Dog and you are in for the race of your life. But it does not always end well.

Since gravity is not very strong in outer space, it can be problematic to stay in the race. More than one space dog has been lost in the game, never to be seen again. The Triangular Dog however seems to be pretty set on his track, especially when he has had enough to eat. Other dogs really watch out and keep a low profile when The Triangular Dog has had plenty to eat. One time, after having eaten a Chinese space craft full of goodies, he actually knocked a moon out of orbit and that caused some real problems that have not been resolved to this day. The other space creatures never really got over that and are still angry.

Anyhow, this is why they adjusted the game and started racing with a ribbon connecting the dogs. It is quite a responsibility for The Triangular Dog, but it does seem to work. So far nobody tripped, and when no dog gets lost, the game can go on forever. Or, at least until dinnertime.